Monday, June 10, 2013

A paradigm...


I've had this idea for a blog entry swirling around in my head for a few days now but didn't know quite how to write about it without rambling. Tonight, it hit me~hence the title. 
We're entering a new phase in our house with Austin landing his first 1st job at Sport Chalet and starting college in the fall. He's got his own truck, comes and goes as he pleases and I don't need to schlep him around anymore.
Meanwhile, I've been having these feelings going on inside me that I haven't known what to do with. Mainly because it's not everyday that your youngest child finishes school & is on his way to becoming more independent. I kept thinking, ok, Austin's not at the Naval Academy so he gets another year at home to test out semi adulthood in the comforts of a loving home, he has a safe place to fall, and a mom & dad that will still guide him through any rough patches. 
And that's where I was getting confused about what else was going on in me. 
At the same time all that's going on with Austin, it's me that's getting a chance to see what life is going to be like once Austin does leave the nest. I'm getting to test the waters at semi retirement. I have opportunities to go off on travel adventures with Frankie, I have more freedom at not doing all the "mom" things I've been doing for the last umpteen years, I'm learning to let go. I get to do all this in a safe place, slowly, bit by bit & at the end of the day, I can get my kid "fix".  So Austin and I are essentially on an equal playing fields, finding our way and navigating through our new paths before us...with safety nets!
I love light bulb moments-(and hope I didn't ramble!)

Welcome to the workforce Austin!

I downloaded some memory cards I came across and found photos of Austin back in 2009. 

It was his first encampment (military basic training simulation.)
 The first thing I noticed besides his chapped lips, was that his cap was too big for his head! This was only 4 years ago...4 years ago people! I think I've been in a fog and when I woke up, Austin was a man. (sigh)
At any rate, now that I've identified what's going on, I can start to enjoy both our independence.

Happy (adventure) snapping!


  1. Dontcha love "aha" moments? It's both exciting and scary to enter new phases of our lives. But life would be so boring without new endeavors and journeys. Can't wait to see where yours takes you :)

    1. I woke up at 5 a.m. because apparently my thought process wasn't over and I had to edit this entry...I'm learning to let go! Thank You Kathy

  2. Had to look up the word "paradigm" ... lol
    New adventures .... and what an exciting and frightening time for Austin ... and you! You know as well as I do that as a Mom you never ever stop worrying. But he'll do fine and so will you. ♥

  3. You did not ramble one single bit here - every word resonating with me, (as you know). Just when we "think" we are clearly at the next level, clearing the bar of "I can't wait until I don't have to ...", it hits us that we have just finished a phase in life that will never be repeated and every.single.part of it that we once lamented suddenly takes on so much more weight in our collection of precious moments. Getting them out of high school just leads to the next set of growing pains and is perhaps even a little scarier because now they are supposed to do it without us holding their hand. Parenting is a life time of adventures - oddly one being us learning to walk/breath/think on our own again.

  4. What a wonderful post this is, Kelly, and I DO know what this is like.
    Bittersweet in so many ways, yet truly a wonderful new adventure.

  5. So very well written, Kelly. I really love how you compared yourself to Austin and the changes that are going on in both of your lives. Sometimes I think it is more difficult for parents to let go than for kids to grow up. Big hugs in your transition.

  6. I agree with Deanna (above)..I too think it's more difficult for parents to let go. With kids leaving and job changes I too feel like I'm in transition and trying to figure out how this next part of my adventure is going to go. I hope that you find that the next phase is wonderful too!


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