Friday, April 5, 2013



Dear self,
How much sadness can the human heart take?
 Apparently a lot.

Dear State of Florida,
Although everyone is real friendly down here, ya'll have one speed...slow. You don't seem to realize we don't have a lot of time. Can you hurry things along?

Dear Naval Academy,
You broke our hearts. Yesterday was one of the saddest days we've ever experienced. Of course you didn't know I took a month off to be with my mom and fill out Medicaid forms, and search for SNF's, and file tax extensions and watch my dad deteriorate, and seriously...miss my boys till I think my heart literally broke...not to mention a list as long as my arm that still needs to get. But that's ok-cause Austin Will try again and then you're going to wish you didn't turn him down in the first place.

Thank you for the best quote on the day we heard from the NA,
"it will all be okay in the end if it's not okay, it's not the end"
Thats gonna be real useful in the days and months to come. 

Dear Mom,
I know things still aren't right in your head but you are being a trooper. You're eating and sleeping again and that alone does wonderful things. Dave, Teresa and I aren't giving up on you...don't you give up on you...ok?

Dear people at the Medicaid office,

Dear Frankie,
I love you. Do you even know how torn I was being here and not being with you when that blasted letter came? I could have been in two places at one time, I would a New York Minute. 9 days and counting. Xo

Dear 9 days and counting,



  1. P.S. dear iPad-love ya but you're being all wonky and making it hard to edit my typos! Kelly

  2. Awwww. I can tell how torn you are in your post, but at the same time, you sound upbeat and strong. One of my former students also found out he wasn't getting in, and he has been planning a career as a military pilot for years and years. It sounds like the Academy missed out on two great young men.

    Nine days will be here before you know it. Take care of yourself while you're taking care of everything else!

    1. Yes the academy lost out! Thank u my friend. Xo

  3. Kelly - I always say there's a reason - good luck bad luck who knows? Have you ever heard that tale?

    There is a Chinese story of a farmer who used an old horse to till his fields. One day, the horse escaped into the hills and when the farmer's neighbors sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, "Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?" A week later, the horse returned with a herd of horses from the hills and this time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck. His reply was, "Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?"

    Then, when the farmer's son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this very bad luck. Not the farmer, whose only reaction was, "Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?"

    Some weeks later, the army marched into the village and conscripted every able-bodied youth they found there. When they saw the farmer's son with his broken leg, they let him off. Now was that good luck or bad luck?

    Who knows?

    1. Mwah Geri-love this story. I live by the idea that things happen for a reason-you might never even be privy as to why. But I've gotten through tough times before-thank you for taking the time to write this story. I love it.

  4. As the old saying goes, when it rains it pours and it sure sounds like you are in the midst of a monsoon. Hang on to that umbrella and remember the sun will shine at the end of the storm.

  5. This was my 2012...a year of heartbreak...over and over and over. I was kicked when I was down non-stop. I was so angry...furious with god or who ever was supposed to help me. I fel totally alone and left out to die. But some way...some changed. Everything changes. This too shall pass...all of it. You may be tested now...but believe it or not...good will come out of all of this. You can't see it now. Te universe has a funny way of making walk through the dark before we can see the light. The light is there...and it will shine on you and your family. I am here if you need to talk...vent...whatever. Don't hesitate to reach out. I am sending you much love and light. Xoxo

  6. Bless you - you are keep an healthy outlook on so many things. I am glad to read that your mother is doing better. I am sorry your son was declined - but good things will come for him. My daughter had her heart set on a college relatively close but was ultimately wait listed. Fortunately we had her apply to several and among those she was accepted at much higher ranked schools - ultimately making a decision to go miles and miles away and loving it. It was a blessing in disguise.
    Hang in there sweetie.


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