Onward...

...and upward 

to 2013

I'm not even sure how to dive into this post so I'm just going to go feet first.

Did you choose a word for 2012?

 I did. 

It was BECOME. 

It's funny, when the word came to me, it was with good intentions that I wanted to do right by that word. I had goals but in hind sight I had no plans to achieve them. There was always something that came up. Usually life...everyday life, work, family, chores, this, that and the other. I knew by...ohhhhh- February that this might not be the word I should have!  I got to thinking, these words are like New Years Resolutions and I stopped making those years ago because it seemed like I was always setting myself up for failure. PISH...who wants to do THAT year after year? 

But then,

 I became a MONARCH MAMA...

...to 31 amazing Monarch Butterflies. 

Ok, so it wasn't EXACTLY what I had intended when I chose my word but somehow it soothed my ego. I became THE BEST steward to these creatures and learned more than I could ever hope raising these beauties.
 I became a much stronger woman due to life changing events with my mom. 

I just flew back from Florida for the second time to pick my mom up and settle her in back home after her hospital stay. I can say that she ate like nobody's business while I was there. There is still such a long road ahead for her. I wish I could wave a magic wand & make everything ok. I decompressed yesterday & for the first time in several weeks I didn't feel like my head was in a fog. I've had such compassion and love guiding me through this day to day. Frankie soothes my soul & has helped heal my broken heart. I've had so much support on over on IG. There is just this amazing, creative spirit of community over there.

My word for 2013 came like lighting before I headed back to Fl. 

There was NO doubt about it... 

MY WORD FOR 2013

is

And let me tell you...I intend to do JUST that!

I was showing Frankie the idea I had for a bracelet and he lead me to the garage...

...he actually had the letter punch kit I needed! I squealed in disbelief. He showed me how to do it... I messed a few washers up but finally did it!

I secretly left the finished bracelet on my mom's nightstand table so she could see this word

Every

Single

Day

I think there is still a place in 2013 for my old word-I'm open minded & ready to receive anything that will help me become a bigger and better person.

 Big changes are coming next year.

Austin's graduating high school and will be off starting his new life adventure. My son, Justin, got stationed to Korea and is ready for his new far off adventures. My daughter Jamie and her fiance, Brian, may or not get married in 2013, but they're happy...so I am happy.

I know there are going to be some challenging times ahead...I'm the forever optimist but, I'm throwing in a dash of realism for good measure. I refuse to be defeated!
 I get knocked down, but I get back up again...ooohhh that's a song (squirrel moment!)
Thank you all for being such a special part of my life here in blogging land.
I look forward to another year here with you all, learning and growing and inspiring.

Happy New Year friends! 

Happy (2013) Snapping

xo

Kelly 

Scavenger Hunt...

...12-23-12 e-dition

Oh my...I woke up with a revelation this morning after my recent life altering event.

But I'll be blogging about that more tomorrow.

For now, decided today I want to play over at Ashely's

*JOY*

This was especially difficult to visualize just yesterday...

but photography, my fake snow,

 candy canes & playing with toys

 is pure and complete joy.

                         *TANGLED*                        

Frankie found this sweet, hot tangled mess of a nest 

as he cut down a bush a few weeks ago. 

*SILVER*

Enough said

*GUILTY PLEASURE*

Uhhhhh....that would be a nice Jewish girl (that grew up Christmas) 

who likes to play with holiday

 goodness...

GUILTY as charged!

*ANGEL*

 Beautiful sea glass from my "sis" in Canada!

Ahhhh....This felt good today...really good

Merry Christmas for those of you celebrating. Hug your loved ones extra tight.

Happy (holiday) snapping!

xo

Kelly

P.S. Blogger is being all weird today...Not sure what's going on but I've had to edit this post several 

times as the layout keeps changing after I hit publish. Whatever, I don't have patience to try and fix it 

anymore.

ok...

I'm done.

xo

Lost...

...waiting for the found part

This is not a feel good post nor happy in any way so I am giving you fair warning to look away now.

I took this selfie several years ago for National Depression Screening Day, which takes place in Oct. I battled with depression 20+ years ago and digging myself out of that pit has largely shaped who I am today. 

My mother,

on

12-12-12

decided she would take her life

only

she survived.

She didn't try to go quietly

instead

she will have scars on her wrists that will either make her stronger or defeat her purpose to live.

The signs were subtle, but there.

Being so far away and not being able to see the physical changes is hind sight.

I flew across the country to be with her and my dad. 

My brother and I had to do what NO child should have to do...or see

I hope one day the images of what I witnessed will not creep into my sleep.

I lost my mother that day, in more ways than I can count. 

I miss how our days intertwined and I haven't dared to fully grasp what I've lost, what our family lost that day in hopes that she finds her own way out that pit of ugly darkness.  

If you are still here reading this, I only ask one thing...

Please, check on an elder 

note any weight change & loss of appetite, the need to give things away, mood changes, withdrawal from family and friends...

Like a cancer, depression is not picky or selective and will take over anyone, at any age, at any given time.

The holidays can be especially difficult.

There are many dark days ahead.

HOPE

is all I have

working on

FAITH

wishing on a

MIRACLE

Kelly

 My mother...
Sally Ann

Rush, Hurry...

...Repeat

Holy Holidays Batman...Chanukah starts in a few days...do you think I'm ready?

Where's my paper bag to breath in...

inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale...

It's crazy this time of year. Amazon.com is being all weird right now so I can't buy buy buy....

inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale...

So what is one to do while we wait? 

Edit, edit, edit!

I'm a Chanukah girl now, but I grew up Christmas...I never tire of the sights, sounds, smells of Christmas. So I got out my fake snow...and played! WHEEE.....

Off to see if Amazon is done being pesty...

Happy (candy cane) snapping!

xo

Kelly

The empty...

...nester

Well, the last of my butterflies flew off in a flurry today. No long goodbyes or even a photo op...He'd been cooped up in a pop up butterfly tent because of rain-The skies cleared at noon, I raced home from work to set him loose & the minute he latched onto my fingers...poof...gone...

just like that

I brought the chrysalis inside about 10 days ago because it was just too cold out and rain was coming.

He is handsome though. I thought it was fitting to use Kim Klassen's Cherished Scripted texture. I did cherish my time with each of the critters & looked forward to setting each butterfly go. I don't think the adventure has ended though...not by a long shot!

Happy (butterfly dreaming) snapping!

xo

Kelly